Friday, January 20, 2012

the master

I am the master of disguise. 

I think some of it is just what good southern women do and some of it is the military adoptive father i had which basic theory was "i will give you something to cry about".  I have dealt with the public daily for over two decades.  Customers don't care if your dog died, your mother has cancer, or if your boyfriend just left you broke and a stack of bills.  I am like the mother we all hated who would be chewing you out one minute and then answer the phone the next as if nothing had ever happened.  The first time my mother ever did this to me, i was so angry at her.  Here she was laughing and being joyful on the phone while i was sitting there so upset. 

I also learned that airing your dirty laundry didn't get you much support for very long.  Now, i just don't complain about things that i am not willing to do anything about.  I spent too long complaining that i just got tired of hearing the sound of my own voice.  Also, there is some victim mentality to complaining and not doing anything about it.  I cant stand a victim, so i just stopped.  It was never allowed when i was growing up, butch didn't have the patience for it and i just don't think my mother knew how to deal with it.  I don't think that my mother has ever whined a day in her life. 

I know that every person has a vulnerable side, but my mother would die before she ever showed it to me.  I have seen my mother cry once in her life, it was when we put her beloved black lab to sleep.  I don't know if any of these things are good or bad, it was what it was. 

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