Wednesday, January 25, 2012

the look

I was in jr high, my parents were taking me home after a weekend visit.  There was this huge house fire and we drove by to see the house was engulfed in flames, people were running back and forth in front of the house. 

I said something about the house not being much anyway.  I think it was to justify such a tragedy and dismiss the feeling of helplessness we all had.  My mother gave me such a look of disgust and said something about it being a person's home regardless of how it looked.  I didn't say a word.  Ironically, they were taking me to drop me off at a trailer house that was falling apart.  The only thing that was missing was the trailer park. 

I wished that instead of the look of disgust that i was given, that she would have taken the time to deal with me and explain the ways of the world to me.  This was a very typical situation of my upbringing.  I wanted so much to be close to my mother, to have her approve and accept me. 

You may forget what people say, but you will never forget how they made you feel.  That look made me feel undeserving of her love and attention. 

No comments:

Post a Comment