the minimizer

I have spent my entire life minimizing...minimizing how i felt, minimizing what someone did to me, or even minimizing what i did.  Due to this, i struggle with defining my feelings or even how to feel.  Any emotion aside from anger makes me uncomfortable.  The moment that someone becomes emotional, i become 9 years old and feel as though it is my responsibility to fix the issue causing the grief.  I immediately take on the problem as if i caused it or that it is my fault.  This is where my boundaries become distorted.  I often have to say "its not my deal" as a reminder to not try and fix the issue. 

I run from confrontation and the only way i can have one is to become angry.  The fear of confrontation, causes my anxiety and makes me feel overwhelmed.  It is difficult for me to not shut down when i get too overwhelmed. 

I continue to pack my days with errands, tasks, in order to focus on anything other than issues that cause me anxiety.......not working