Sunday, May 26, 2013

being done

I was suppose to go and meet friends last night, but this week has just taken it out of me.  I was in bed and asleep at 7:30.  the entire world could have burned down and I don't think I would have noticed.

I have been dealing with my stuff, my marriage stuff, and trying to get my personnel back on track. I feel as though I am one breath away from losing it all.  not in my usual i don't want to not be in control behavior.  not even my waiting for the other shoe to drop way.  i am starting to build confidence in my ability to handle whatever situation comes my way.  i have even started to walk directly into conflict instead of shying away.  i just don't have the patience for it and i am going to tell people politically incorrectly what exactly is on my mind and it will probably get me in trouble.  i have become tired of sparing my feelings for someone else.  what i have really become tired of is the people who exploit this character flaw of mine.  i am sick of people who take advantage of me period. unfortunately, people do not like change and they will fight it every step of the way. 

my little drama queen, actually she is more like chicken little has spent two days trying to figure out how to get me to take her disciplinary notice out of her file.  approaching me at the end of a long week is not the best time to discuss this, maybe she thought that i would be too tired to have the discussion with her and would just give in.  she thought wrong and hopefully she got the hint that talking about this again would not behoove her.  the problem is my people do not get the fact that i am done playing games with them.  i have told them this, but they refuse to listen for some reason.  i am having group interviews on Wednesday. i am going to hire at least two people and the rest of these people who insist on bringing chaos to my life can take their little selves somewhere else and cause havoc. 

they will have wished they paid more attention to me when i told them that i am done. 

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