today is my first day of therapy and my homework is to be able to describe what i think normal looks like (aka, when i know i am finished with my therapy).
i don't want to feel damaged anymore
i want to be able to trust myself to make decisions and not rely on other people's opinions
i want to not be afraid to be happy, to stop waiting for the other shoe to drop
i want to know how to set, keep, and enforce healthy boundaries
i would love to have a healthy relationship
i need to know how to stop filling this whole inside myself with food, money, stuff, etc
to stop killing myself overachieving to stop feeling as though i am lacking
stop feeling less than because i cannot live up to my mothers standards and get that look of disappointment and disgust out of my head when my house is dirty
people always stare at me and i think i must have sat in something, my fly is down, i start doubting my outfit and my ability to pull it off with my weight gain, or i shouldn't be wearing red lipstick
i ask my husband why people are staring at me and he says it is because i am beautiful............i think it is because they know how damaged i am
No comments:
Post a Comment