the groove baggage

i finally feel as though i am getting my groove back

i went and got a proper hair cut yesterday and added streaks.  today, i treated myself to a pedicure, it has been almost a year since i had a pedicure.  i picked up two pairs of sandals as well.  it felt so nice to treat myself.  i haven't done anything like this since last summer. 

it makes me so sad to think of how i have lost the last year of my life to depression. 

my shoulder still hurts, but i have stopped clenching my teeth as much, i have begun to laugh more and has been so much more focused.  i can see that my team is more productive.  i have started having the tough conversations that i would have walked away from before, because i wouldn't have had the energy.

tomorrow is mothers day and i cant stand it.  my mother and i could not be much further apart and having to deal with her and her horrible behavior makes me want to check out.  i don't want to act in a false manner.  my dad says "like her or not she is your mom. when you live a long life and upon your death you will die indebted to her for your life".  i just cannot subject myself to her abuse.  i feel as though i am the only that walks away with any baggage from the interaction.....lord knows i don't need any more of that.