damaged

one summer I was with my mother and I had food poisoning.  I don't think that I had ever felt so bad in my life before that weekend.  she had a party, another couple came over and I just laid in the spare bedroom wondering when someone would come and check on me, take care of me.   I think she finally did once, barely paying attention to the fact that I was sick.  I don't even think that she offered to bring me anything to make me feel better.

I had the glorious idea once that I wanted to ride a horse.  my best friends mom had horses and after she spent hours running them in circles, we both got on to ride.  we did fine, until my best friend decided to take a picture, the flash freaked out the horse and it started bucking.  I made it through the first and second buck, but fell off the third.  my hip still hurts at times.  I could barely walk that weekend.  I don't think anyone ever offered to take me to get an xray to make sure I was okay.  I spent that weekend with my mother and had such an issue getting up and down off the toilet, that I had to use the towel bar, well it came out of the wall.  my dad noticed it somehow and fixed it without telling my mother.  he said that he wasn't sure how I managed to rip it off the way and I never bothered to explain. 

I got that I was damaged which is why I never had children, it would have been nice if my parents would have figured that out and did the same.