Saturday, May 18, 2013

Full moon?

today is my Friday and I am very thankful

this must have been a full moon this week, last phone call yesterday was someone who was painting and their bird "escaped" from their cage, flew into the paint pan, and when they washed the bird in water the feathers started falling out

first phone call today...I saw a guinea pig yesterday, it was black and white....can you tell me if it was a male or a female...I go over and look and there are at least a dozen guinea pigs in the cage with a few being black and white. 

I am starting my first therapy session on Monday.  I think that the most difficult part is going to be taking off the mask of everything being okay and not that big of a deal in order to get through the pain to deal with the situations.  I am so scared of being out of control.  I have worked so hard to stuff all of these feelings down and to project some kind of normalcy to the outside world.  I do know that the façade is breaking and I cant do this anymore.  When the pain of holding on is more than letting go.........this is the point that I am at. 

I have been able to sleep this week.  I have been able to face confrontation head on, which is a really nice change.  I am not a confrontational person and that makes doing my job almost impossible.  I have been able to say exactly what is on my mind and that has been so freeing.  I think that it has caught people off guard, but I cant afford to hold it in any longer.  

2 comments:

  1. I hope you find the happiness. You deserve! Life is too short not to be happy!

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